Introduction Letter


Dear Professor Blackstone,

I am writing this letter to introduce myself, my name is Derrick, I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic in 2017 with a Diploma in Marketing, which is a course that has totally no connection with Civil Engineering. I manage to learn more about Civil Engineering upon graduation when I went to my uncle's company and to learn a little from the industry expert over there.

As someone who likes to build and lead, I realize that being in the construction industry is very satisfying. It is because I can build and lead a team at the same time. As I have to lead a small team before, I know it is very difficult to make sure that everyone is well-coordinated and listens to my opinion if I did not have a strong technical knowledge in the things I do, I always believes that people will not listen to a leader that has no knowledge in what he is doing. Thus, I choose Civil Engineering not only I want to know about all the technical stuff, but I can also use my Marketing knowledge to lead my team in my next project.

I believe my strength is I have a good sense of humor and can get my point across very clearly as to what and how I want certain things to be done. I am also quite good at convincing others if I know my stuff well.

To the weakness of my communication skills, I will always feel nervous if there is a need for me to give a formal presentation because I am worried about being an embarrassment and I might stutter a little because of my poor command of language.

I wish to conquer my fear in this course with your guidance.

Best Regards
Derrick

Commented On:
Neo Cen Wei
Lim Jia Ying

Edited on 19/01/20

Comments

  1. Wai YanJanuary 17, 2020 at 8:24 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wai YanJanuary 18, 2020 at 3:24 AM

      Dear Derrick,

      To tell you the truth I respect your courage to embark on a completely different academic path from what you have studied in polytechnics. Your letter is both interesting and informative. I have enjoyed reading it.

      I admire your description of the fear you have when it comes to presenting. I must admit that I too have the same fear but we cannot let it hold us back.

      In general I feel that your letter is well written but below are some minor mistakes I have spotted.

      - "As I have lead a small team before,....." for this you should use led instead of lead as past participle tense must come after 'Have' .
      - "....not only I want to know about all the technical stuff, I can also use my Marketing knowledge to lead my team in my next project." for this sentence you should use 'But also' instead of 'can also' since it is the right way to use 'not only but also' corrective conjunction. You also do not need to use the comma to connect two sentences if you use 'not only but also' corrective conjunction.

      I look forward to reading more of your writings in the future.

      Best wishes,
      Wai Yan

      Delete
    2. DerrickJanuary 28, 2020 at 12:35 AM

      Hey Wai Yan,

      Thanks for taking your time to read my letter, I am glad that you enjoyed reading it.

      I am also thankful that you spot my mistake for me and I have already corrected the error.

      Please let me know if you spot any more errors.

      Best Regards
      Derrick

      Delete
  2. JiaYing LimJanuary 20, 2020 at 6:32 PM

    Dear Derrick

    Thank you for this detailed reflection. I believe that you have managed to include all the points that we are tasked to write and flow of idea is great.

    I have a good time reading and knowing how you have developed interest in Civil Engineering.

    I do have the same weakness as you and really hope that at the end of this module we would be a better speaker :)

    I look forward in reading more of your writing in the future.

    Best regards
    JiaYing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DerrickJanuary 28, 2020 at 1:03 AM

      Dear Jia Ying

      Thanks for you kind compliment. I look forward to see improvement in your presentation skills as well.

      Best Regards
      Derrick

      Delete
  3. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 26, 2020 at 7:54 PM


    Dear Derrick,

    Thank you for this clear, concise and generally well-developed letter. You address each touchpoint of the assignment and provide decent detail. I really appreciate learning about
    your shift in study focus areas and then how you tie your civil engineering enrolment to a stint at yiur uncle's company. You also elaborate on how that experience influenced your skills. What you could probably do with more detail is support your assertion about your comm skills with clear examples.

    In light of your desire to improve your speaking, we will work in class. For your language use, let's start here:

    1. grammar, punctuation and capitalization errors
    -- I am writing this letter to introduce myself, my name is Derrick, I graduated from Nanyang Polytechnic in 2017 with a Diploma in Marketing, which is a course that has totally no connection with Civil Engineering. > (comma splce; overuse of caps) ?

    -- I manage to learn more about Civil Engineering upon graduation > (verb tense error; overuse of caps) ?

    -- went to my uncle's company and to learn a little from the industry expert over there.
    (lack of parallel verb structure)

    -- As I have to lead a small team before, I know it is very difficult to make sure that everyone is well-coordinated and listens to my opinion if I did not have a strong technical knowledge in the things I do, I always believes that people will not listen to a leader that has no knowledge in what he is doing.
    > (comma splice and verb tense errors)

    -- Thus, I choose Civil Engineering not only I want to know about all the technical stuff, but I can also use my Marketing knowledge to lead my team in my next project.
    > (various errors)
    Thus, I chose civil engineering not only because I want to know about all the technical stuff, but also so I can use my marketing knowledge to lead my team effectively.

    -- Best Regards > (inconsistent punctuation style with the saluation; no need for second word's cap)

    I look forward to assisting you this term.

    Cheers,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete

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